When I moved to Peru, I had some basic Spanish—a couple years in high school, some streaks on Duolingo. I hoped that might be useful, but I understood nothing. Now, more than two years later, I’ve improved somewhat. There are days when I feel bilingual. Other days I’ve still just arrived.

It’s not linear. It’s maddening and hard. But it’s also full of hidden gems.

Like this: I used to think immersion was the best way to learn a language because it just meant you’d get more practice. Now I know it’s because learning comes from Having ​Experiences. The richer, more emotional, and more interactive, the weirder, the better. Words aren’t just sounds; they’re souvenirs from something that happened with someone who matters. They slip and slide off the sterile screen of an app; but they take root in the soil of memories.

For many Spanish words, I can remember who said it to me first, and where, and when—so now each one is trailed by little bubbles of color and feeling and snippets of a memory. That makes the Spanish I speak deeply personal, not just because it’s infused with local jargon, but because the people who taught it to me are so inextricably part of it.

There’s also the fact that language-learning has as much to do with self-knowledge and personal growth as it does with the race to accumulate vocabulary. There’s a whole mental-emotional riverscape behind it that can be a barrier or a boon: learning to listen and pause (not panic), taking the risk of stringing together a sentence aloud without rehearsing it first, being okay with sounding dumb.

(It’s ​wild how much the desire to sound smart cripples us. Sometimes I meet people, often men, who cannot tolerate not believing they’re the smartest person in the room. Personally, I wonder if women learn languages faster than men because we’re less conditioned to need to sound smart.)

There’s a line I think about a lot in Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, something like “all of creation can be extrapolated from a piece of fairy cake.” I.e., truths as big as the universe lurk in the most ordinary things.

I set out learning Spanish expecting to spend a lot of time with flashcards. Instead I find myself deepening relationships, reflecting on the nature of learning and personality, and standing in awe of what new discoveries become available when you step outside your first language.

I’m Kimberly, and I’m a writing coach and ghostwriter who helps people tell their stories. For me info about my services, click here. To schedule a free call with me, click here.