The other day I saw an Instagram post from a fashion icon and poet, where someone asked them,

“How do you find your style?”

They answered, “Heal.”

Wow. What an answer. And how true. You can only know what clothing expresses your inner self when you know and accept that inner self. You can only feel good in clothing when your body feels safe and good. You can only wear clothing well if you’re not trying to hide.

There’s a parallel in writing:

How do you find your voice?

I would answer,

Heal.

You can only write in your own voice when you know what you want to say and how you want to say it.

You can only write in your own voice when you’re in touch with your inner self. When you’re able to love and accept yourself.

We can only access our own true voice when you’re healing from whatever wounds we have sustained in childhood, in adolescence, in adulthood, yesterday, today.

Healing clears away the fog and gives us the ability to see the world more clearly. It allows us to shed our biases and misperceptions, at least some of them. It gives us a more grounded perspective, and the ability to understand things from a more neutral, more compassionate place. It allows us to see ourselves more deeply, more clearly, more humanly.

*

When we are unhealed…

…we write to impress, to brag, to get approval, to feel special.

…we sometimes can’t access our inner world at all, because it’s blocked.

And/ or:

…we’re too caught up in emotion (anger sadness despair) to see past it, and our writing is a storm of unprocessed feelings (good for journaling, not for longer/deeper projects)

When we are healing, we can…

…imagine more colorfully
…think more deeply
…reason more clearly
…know ourselves more profoundly
…speak without fear

*

How to write well?

Do one healing thing. (Walk, scream, dance to music, shake, cry, hum.)

Then write one true thing.

Write it as candidly and fearlessly as possible.

Do that again. Keep doing it.

This is how you find your voice.

Photo credit: Robert Coletti

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