Years ago, I met a prospective client, a renowned clothing designer, in her NYC studio. We discussed the book she wanted to write — her timeline, her goals, her hopes and fears. I thought we bonded…

​…and then she ghosted me.

​Weeks ​p​assed. I wondered:

Was it something I said?
I ​should NOT have worn that blazer.
Is it my hair? Too curly/frizzy/unkempt?

Seven months later, an email from her:

“Dear Kimberly, I’m sorry for not reaching out sooner. My mother died…”

*

We truly have no idea what’s going on in other people’s hearts.

(This is true in business, in relationships, at the grocery store.)

​We might never know why someone doesn’t choose us.

The danger in that is that we might internalize beliefs like:

⛔ It’s my fault.
⛔ I said the wrong thing.
⛔ I’m not a good enough writer.

We need to guard against that.

We need to learn to handle unknowns. To stay grounded in our own truths. To allow for uncertainty.

We can do that by:

– Not jumping to conclusions about other people’s motives or choices
– Continuing to grow professionally as well as emotionally/mentally
– Focusing on what’s in our control
– Letting go of what’s outside it

I’m sure there are more… What would you add?

​If you’re working on your memoir, and you want some writing support, structure, and accountability, you may want to work with a book coach.

Schedule a call with me by clicking the button below.