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on writing a memoir
“Want to join a memoir-writing group with me?” my friend S. asked me one day in 2019. This was pretty random. We’d never talked about writing memoirs before, and I wasn’t ghostwriting them yet. I liked reading them, but my specialty was fiction. “Yes!” I said right away. “When do we start?” Shoot, I thought…
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on moving
Moving day. Everything’s moved in, so now it’s a matter of organizing. This is my favorite part. Deciding what goes where, that glimmer of satisfaction when I put something its new home. I don’t have much stuff (and thank God the apartment’s furnished). Each object I own tells a story of where or who it…
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on being ghosted
Years ago, I met a prospective client, a renowned clothing designer, in her NYC studio. We discussed the book she wanted to write — her timeline, her goals, her hopes and fears. I thought we bonded… …and then she ghosted me. Weeks passed. I wondered: Was it something I said?I should NOT have worn that…
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on connecting the dots
My first night in Peru, I sat on my patio and opened a notebook to write. I’d come here to find peace. My life had been upended recently—a 6-year relationship ended; the house I’d wanted to buy had fallen through. The future I’d imagined had dissolved, and I felt lost and uncertain. Here, though, listening…
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on drawing a finish line
You live in Peru? You must be bilingual.” Well…sometimes. It depends on the day. On my mood. On the lighting. I used to think being bilingual was a finish line I would one day cross. But now I see it as more as a moving target. It’s more like being “happy” or “healthy.” Are you…
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mediocre jazz
The other day, I came upon some songs I’d recorded back in 2013. A couple I had written, some covers, some classical and some mediocre jazz.* I hadn’t thought about them in years. When I listened to them now…I was shocked. They’re WAY better than I remembered. At the time, I was 25 and living…
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the fear of starting
“It is not possible to make a mistake.” That’s what Mona tells John when he arrives on the island in Breakfast of Champions (the Kurt Vonnegut novel). It’s the customary greeting in her culture when meeting a shy person, she says. It’s also what I tell people who want to write, but are afraid to…
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how to write a book
In 2019, I decided to drive around the U.S. The plan didn’t start off that way. At first, I was just going to visit my sister in Atlanta. Then my brother in Mississippi, since it was only 4 hours away. Then, Why not New Orleans? Houston’s only a couple hours from there. Well if I’m…
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on taking feedback
Here are a couple things that will drive you bonkers when you’re writing your book: 🚫 Trying to please everyone 🚫 Bending over backwards to accommodate everyone’s suggestions 🚫 Trying to avoid even the smallest rejection The thing is… Trying to write everyone’s favorite book—and making every change that anyone suggests—will almost always result in…
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where do I start?
“I’ve always wanted to write a book,” a friend told me recently. “But where do you start?” I hear this all the time. Many people have ideas for a book—yet most never get written, because getting started is one of the hardest things to do, ever. I don’t have all the answers, but one strength…
Kimberly Bunker, MFA 